What I Would Have Done

What I Would Have Done



What I would have done

If I had been there that evening

Before you answered God's call



What I would have said

To somehow transmit to you

How unbearably important

You are to me

And to all of us



How I would have held your hand

And tried my best to help calm your fears

Though you had no reason to fear

I remember you always said "Be not afraid"

and

Paradise was certainly waiting for you

while your dearest love was beckoning



And I know that my words of Goodbye

Would not have added to your comfort,

But to mine



How I would have whispered my love

And gratitude for being your child

And my promise to unfailingly remember you

In all of my actions and prayers in the future



But I wasn't there

And I didn't get the chance to decide what to do

Or whisper or touch

And I need to come to terms with that



I know it wouldn't have made any difference

It wouldn't have lessened your pain

But mine

And my loss wouldn't necessarily be assuaged or in any way lessened

If I had been there at that time that evening

When God called you home









Chrissy Bell